Simply Lambchops

I didn't tell you.

Reflections Tuesday, July 14, 2020

“No one's life is as perfect as their Instagram feed.”

Nor their Facebook feed or other social media platforms.

Globally, the average daily time people spend on social media platforms is 2 hours and 24 minutes and Singapore tails behind by just 12 minutes. I am definitely one of the outliers, considering that my iPhone weekly report shows that I spend a minimum of 4h per day on social networking purpose. Time is “well-spent” in that 4 hours. Did I tell you that I love swiping my fingers across my phone screen and feasting on pictures of perfect-looking, chubby babies, beautiful couples on their vacay, Instagram-worthy food and cafes? Most of the people look radiantly happy and life seems wonderfully great and blissful for them. I too, feel happy watching them in their squares.

Then, on one occasion, an ex-student of mine visited me with her new-born. During our mom-to-mom sharing, she told me that she was surprised to hear some of the motherhood problems I had faced. In fact, I had given her the impression that I was a very capable Mom who could manage my kids well and that my life was full of positives because that was what she gathered from my blog and Facebook posts. Immediately, I felt guilty that I had given her that false impression - not because I had purposely faked it, but just because I didn't have an accurate portrayal of my own struggles and teary moments on my own grid.

Truth be told,

I didn't tell you about those times where I had days of cold war with my hubby because he was annoyed when I talked to him in a condescending tone.

I didn't tell you that I was annoyed with him for feeling annoyed.

I didn't tell you the number of escapes I made to the toilet just to cry my heart out and feeling so worthless as a Mom while my children dashed around outside my security zone like they were ready to declare war with one other.

I didn't tell you how helpless I felt when I had tried all the strategies the many therapists suggested in order to improve K's speech (and feeding, walking, fine motor skills, recognising and understanding number concepts, blending 3-letter words, etc), but she just didn't show any bit of progress. I had felt like walking away from everything back then.

I didn't tell you how much I yearned for a heart-to-heart talk with an adult, especially during the 2 years without a helper where I felt really lonely. I didn't have the courage to share my problems because I didn't want to burden another soul with them. Instead, I secretly "let go" in my personal diary coloured with plenty of hate words and hand-drawn emojis to regulate my own emotions.

I didn't tell you that when I saw a picture-perfect couple shot looking dreamily into each other's eyes right after I had a heated argument with my hubby, I got really, really triggered and overwhelmed with self-pity.

I didn't tell you how envious I was when others were always pictured to have such a fun time with their little ones while I struggled to connect with my not-so-little ones.

Each time it happened, I felt like sending a post to show my frustrations and depressed state. Yet, I had come to realise that some things are still better kept than shared, not for the glory of one's "face", but for a bigger purpose.

I consciously choose to lock my good memories on Instagram, Facebook and my blog so that I will remember how blessed I am when I feel that I am not. The online memories make me laugh when I am emotionally down and lift my spirits up while reminding me that I have had good days. Till now, when a Facebook memory of a past post pops up on my feed, it still warms my heart despite the number of times FB has reminded me of that. It helps me to look back and see the progress we have made as parents, and as a family.

So, I'm sorry if my posts have made you feel better of me but less of yourself. I just want you to remember that,

Photo credit

*This post has been sitting in draft mode since Jun 2018. Finally tidied up the post and published it for you.

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[Review] More Comfy Economy Class Travel with Fly LegsUp

Children products Friday, July 13, 2018

The last we flew was in 2013 when K was 2 years old. It was a night flight and K used my lap as her pillow. By the time we reached the Hong Kong International Airport, I couldn't feel my leg anymore and suffered a backache as I had to maintain my sitting posture to let her have a good sleep.

So before we flew for our recent holiday to Perth, I started dreading the thought of having to go through the same experience. Thankfully, Mommy Justina's IG post about her good experience with the Fly LegsUp Flight Hammock came timely and I got one immediately.

There are a few similar children's products aimed at making travelling on economy class flights more comfortable, but I chose the Fly LegsUp Flight Hammock as it is a perfect fit for my family's needs.

Fly LegsUp Flight Hammock clips easily to your bag

What is Fly LegsUp Flight Hammock?

Best described as a hammock for your legs, it acts as a footrest and allows your feet and legs to be elevated into a more comfortable sitting position. For young children, the Fly LegsUp hammock can also act as a platform for sleeping flat, so they do not have to invade into your personal space.

It has been comprehensively tested by a CASA authorised Aviation Engineer and approved by CASA as a "carry on comfort aid".

Fly LegsUp offers an Adult pack (for older kids and adults) and a Kids pack (suitable for infants to kids around 9 years old). The only difference between the two is that the Kids pack come with an additional Large inflatable pillow. Both packs come with a flight hammock and a card-sized instruction manual in case you need help with the setup (or you can watch the instructional video prior to flying.) Weighing less than 500g, everything can be packed away into the small bag provided and clips on easily onto your luggage or diaper bag with the included carabiner.

Enjoying the in-flight movie with her legs fully stretched out!

How does it work?

To use the hammock, you will need to be in an ordinary Economy seat (not a bulkhead seat or areas without a seat in front of you) in order to attach the hammock to the arms of the drop-down tray table.

Whilst the instructions on paper look simple, my actual experience somewhat differed. Maybe because I was a little nervous before takeoff, I found it a bit tricky to attach the left and right straps of the hammock to the arms of the tray table while attending to Excited K who kept pestering me to start her KrisWorld entertainment system.

It took a few attempts to re-position the straps correctly. After that, the rest of the steps are pretty straightforward.

Tip: It's easier to attach the hammock to the tray table BEFORE the person in front reclines the seat.

Once the maximum cruising height was achieved, the Tail of the hammock was tucked into the back of K's seat and the two Large pillows were inflated and placed flat onto the hammock as a sleeping platform for her. One good thing I found was that the hammock can also act as a barrier to prevent her toys from dropping off.

A playpen for K's soft toy!

Every Momma's moment of joy when on the plane

K is about 99 cm long and she can still lie flat to sleep with her legs curled up. I didn't have to remove her seatbelt and she slept safely and soundly through every turbulence. Even the Momma in front of me noticed because she had to remove her infant from the bassinet each time we experienced a turbulence. I couldn't help but share about this wonderful hammock with her. (:

On our flight back to Singapore while K was totally absorbed in Moana, I took over the hammock and tested it.

Now, don't repeat my mistake if you want to use the hammock for yourself. What I didn't know (until I came back from the holiday) was that there are SO MANY MORE WAYS to use this hammock for adults. It was a facepalm moment after I read the detailed instructions from the website!

Photos from Fly LegsUp website

Me using the flight hammock as a footrest

With the seat reclined and using the flight hammock as my footrest, the Economy seat instantly upgraded its comfort. I added one large pillow (half-deflated) under my legs for more support. Love this hammock so much because everyone in the family can use it!

Take note that the flight hammock cannot be used during taxi, takeoff and landing as with all other similar products.

Overall thoughts

We didn't have any issues using the Fly LegsUp hammock on the Singapore Airlines but do check with your airline operator before flying. In fact, during one of the turbulence, a flight attendant came over to check on us and smiled when she saw K sleeping soundly. That smile told me that I made the right decision in getting the hammock.

In addition, being so lightweight and compact in design, I don't have to worry about taking up my luggage space for this.

There are a few health benefits of using the flight hammock cited on the website such as helping to reduce to risk of Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT).

At 90 SGD for the Kids pack, it is not something you'll be thinking of buying straightaway, but as any parent knows, you can't put a price to a good sleep.

So, all in all, I highly recommend the Fly LegsUp Flight Hammock to you. The only grouse I have is ... why didn't I know about this earlier??

Fly LegsUp ships worldwide and if you are in Singapore, get yours from Fly LegsUp Singapore.

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March Instagram Round-Up

Family Sunday, April 22, 2018

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Eulogy for Grandma from her grandchildren

Family Saturday, March 31, 2018

My beloved maternal grandmother, Mdm Chew Siew Hong, fondly known as Ah Ma by all her grandchildren, passed away peacefully on Wednesday, 28 Mar 2018. I delivered my first eulogy on behalf of her grandchildren. The eulogies of Cousins Grace and Kenneth are also included here as a keepsake for my extended family.

As read yesterday at her funeral service yesterday (Friday, 30 Mar 2018) ...

I have been blessed to know Ah Ma for 41 years of my life. As my first caregiver when my parents were working in Singapore, she took care of all my daily needs (for about 3 years). I always admire her for the inner strength she possessed, evidently seen in how she dealt with her life challenges.

I fondly remember that whenever we went back to her house at Taman Sentosa in Melaka, I would ask to sleep in her bedroom. She loved singing and we often sang Chinese Christian songs till late. She would always share stories of her life too. Little does she know that many of her stories inspire me and give me strength 'til today.

My Chinese name was given by my grandparents. Ah Ma shared the significance of the name once, and I didn’t think much about it back then. Ah Ma, I hope I have lived up to the name you gave me.

For this eulogy, I reached out to my cousins and asked them how Ah Ma has impacted their lives. Their responses paint a beautiful portrait of the grandmother we all knew and loved. I will highlight some and share with all of you.

[1] Strong faith in God

Ah Ma was a faithful believer of God. The deep trust she had in God has touched the hearts of many of her grandchildren. Some of us have heard this story from her - there was once, Ah Ma was at a loss because she was short of money to pay for the university fees of an uncle. (Two other uncles needed financial help at the same time.) She turned to God and prayed fervently. After the prayer, a gust of wind blew the pages of the Bible in front of her and she saw a verse that comforted her. With that, she placed her faith in the providence of God and managed to get around the problem she faced.

[2] Love for the family and church

As the matriarch of the family, she availed herself to take care of the needs of her children and grandchildren. One of my fondest memories of celebrating Chinese New Year in Melaka was seeing the big feast that she would painstakingly prepare, with the help of her daughters and daughters-in-law.

One of my cousins recounted his experience of being disciplined by Ah Ma. He was told to sleep alone in the adjacent room for being rebellious. It was a horrible experience for a 5-year-old kid but he learnt his lesson. That was our Ah Ma - she played multiple roles to us - a caring grandmother, a cook, a discipline mistress and many more.

Ah Ma actively served in many congregations, giving her time and energy, bringing joy to many. When I was young and used to follow her to the Christ Church at Melaka, I often saw her talking and smiling to many people. It was as if she knew everyone there.

Through her life, Ah Ma planted the seed of God’s words in us and showed us how to be a humble servant of God’s family.

After her stroke, although she was not the Ah Ma who was once full of energy, singing whenever and wherever, she still showed her love for us through her smiles when we visited.

Tomorrow we will bid our last farewells to Ah Ma. We know this is just a temporary goodbye and we will meet again someday. The legacy she lives behind will continue to live through each of us - her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

I am proud to be a part of this closely-knitted extended family. This wouldn’t have been possible if not for Ah Ma and Ah Gong’s way of bringing up their children.

Ah Ma, thank you for all the small and big things you have shown through your life on earth.

Eulogy from cousin Grace:
Ah Ma, as I fondly recall, is a woman who loves God and puts her family ahead of herself.

For as long as I can remember, Ah Ma was a woman who spent on and pampered her loved ones and scrimped and saved on herself. Though they weren't from a well-to-do family, Ah Ma and Ah Gong raised 9 children while living very frugal lifestyles. When I was much younger, my cousins and I would call each other on Saturday nights to find out if they were free to visit our grandparents and we would congregate to play at Ah Ma's house. The highlight of the visit to Ah Ma's house (besides playing with my cousins) was getting gifts from Ah Ma. She would always have a collection of toys and knick-knacks for us to choose from whenever we visited her, which was her way of showing her love for us. By God's grace, our grandparents' home was always filled with laughter and us grandchildren running around.

Ah Ma was also a devoted Christian who spent at least 5-6 days a week in church, except on Mondays when she used to do housework and run errands. She delighted in worshipping God and had many close friends in church. After her stroke in 2010, she could no longer recognise her family members but continued to have much delight and joy in her eyes when she went to church to worship God.

Thank you, Ah Ma, for the many life lessons that I have learnt, and for your love all these years. You have led a long and fruitful life, finished the race, and have kept the faith and are now with our Heavenly Father. How apt it is this Good Friday, that we no longer mourn the death of Jesus Christ and our grandmother, but rejoice in His resurrection. May you rest in peace and see you again!

Eulogy from cousin Kenneth:

Our Grandma led a simple life, one that was hard and often times unsweetened. But what we as her grandchildren will remember her for is throughout her life of raising her children, she made our lives much more fruitful than her own. We now live our lives that are filled with complexities, but are surrounded by family and friends that love us, are relatively well-to-do, educated, and even made names for ourselves.

We believe our grandma lived the simple life, but one that is honourable, difficult, yet the most fulfilling way to live as seen by the fruits of her labour.

In the 92 years of her life she has lived, she has gathered knowledge and wisdom, lived through hardship and joy, and got to live a life that is what we believe God wants to do in this life, loving our God and the people around us.

We can only imagine how much we can glean from her life story, however, due to her fading memory and personality in the final years of her life. Although her life before that may have been more meaningful to her, we got to see her as she truly is, and through her final acts, she is a shining example of how we can live ours even when we are living in a complex world and are afflicted with the toils of life.

Firstly: She was very cheerful. We loved how she would try her very best to sing hymns of praise to the Lord, and the big smiles on her face that she had. As the Bible said, “A cheerful heart has a continual feast” (Proverbs 15:15). She lived the best moments of her life by being real as children of God.

She showed us the gift of the love of Christ: Even though her personality may have faded, her love for God remained. Her worship was vibrant and cheerful, and her faith was unwavering.

With these gifts she had given us in the late years of her life, and by how she had opened so many paths for us to choose how we can lead our lives, we always have her memory as a beacon, never to be overwhelmed by the hardships of life as she had done.

If your outllook in life is greyed by the struggles of life, remember this: The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.—Psalm 23:1–4

We will always remember the love she had for us, and we must continue to show love to each other and those around us: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”—John 15:12–13

Last but not least, she has shown us that throughout our lives, God is with us: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.—Romans 8:28

***

1926 - 2018

Ah Ma's body was cremated on Saturday, 31 March 2018. She is richly blessed by God with 6 sons, 3 daughters, 5 daughters-in-law, 2 sons-in-law, 18 grandchildren, 9 grandchildren-in-law and 14 great-grandchildren.

(Missing her dearly as I write this.)