Me: Whenever I feel sad or angry, I become happy when I look at your smiley face.
L: Mama, when I make you angry, I smile at you okay?
This is L. My number 2, who just turned 3 years in Sept. He is usually so sweet. Since he was about a year old, he would say "I love you, mommy" and shower me with lots of kisses and hugs. When I cry, he'll come over with a concerned look and stroke my arm or face gently, while saying "'Don't cry, mommy". When he does something he shouldn't and gets a scolding from us, he'll say sorry and give this puss-in-boots look that makes one melt.
Of course, he also has his mood swings. He can shout, beat or scold when he's frustrated. He can be very whiny and nagging too. When he wants something, he can repeat the same request over and over again like a broken record, until he is heard or scolded.
... chicken bones too!
L: Mama, when I make you angry, I smile at you okay?
This is L. My number 2, who just turned 3 years in Sept. He is usually so sweet. Since he was about a year old, he would say "I love you, mommy" and shower me with lots of kisses and hugs. When I cry, he'll come over with a concerned look and stroke my arm or face gently, while saying "'Don't cry, mommy". When he does something he shouldn't and gets a scolding from us, he'll say sorry and give this puss-in-boots look that makes one melt.
He's not only sweet to me. He adores his younger sister, K. Every morning, he will come over to my bedroom and call out to K with a smile. He showers K with lots of kisses too! L also helps to entertain K while I run to the toilet or take a break.
Even when he's sick, he will still come over, despite our constant reminders and warnings, to play and kiss K. We stopped him from going into my bedroom once, but that made him very miserable for the whole day.
There's something else which I notice about him. He is a very neat person (when he wants to). He would help to keep his toys and even his Jie Jie's after playing. He returns his bowl and cup to the kitchen after finishing his food. He is also very particular of the arrangement of things. Maybe he takes after his daddy in this area. Anyone who has been to my house and seen my table in the study room will be able to confirm that he is definitely not like me 
. He is SO neat and tidy that sometimes, it irks me to the max. This is especially so when I'm rushed for time, but he insists on taking his time to arrange his things.
. He is SO neat and tidy that sometimes, it irks me to the max. This is especially so when I'm rushed for time, but he insists on taking his time to arrange his things.
Here are some examples which amuse me:
1. L has a favourite soft toy named Bruno. He'll always place Bruno on his right, and the bolster at the far right before he sleeps.
2. L finished his snack and asked if he could wash his own plate. I agreed and he disappeared for quite a while. When I checked on him, I found him in the toilet, drying the plate he washed with the hand towel! He even rewarded me with this big grin!
3. He likes to line his engines in neat, straight rows.
Other than engines, he does that to shoes, CDs, and er...
... chicken bones too!
4. Things are also placed at corners. He likes to put his bowl or cup right at the edge of the table when he returns them to the kitchen. See how aligned the CD case is to the edge of the table too?
Sometimes, I wonder if L has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), considering how orderly things must be lined up, and how things are arranged in a symmetrical manner. I guess I shouldn't complain and just take it that he is a super duper neat boy. Hopefully, when he is a teenager, he will still hold on to this trait.
Sometimes, I wonder if L has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), considering how orderly things must be lined up, and how things are arranged in a symmetrical manner. I guess I shouldn't complain and just take it that he is a super duper neat boy. Hopefully, when he is a teenager, he will still hold on to this trait.
The Down Syndrome Association (DSA) organized a sharing session for new parents of children with Down Syndrome (DS). This session would give us more info about the first 18 months of our child, and more importantly, to network with people in this community.
The sharing session had started when I reached. One of the parent mentors kindly helped me to get a seat next to the aisle so that my pram can be next to me. Good, K is asleep, so I can fully concentrate. I scanned around quickly, checking out the participants.
The session started with a welcome speech by the chairperson of DSA followed by an introduction of the parent mentors, and then us, the new parents. We broke into our small groups for some sharing after that.
What struck me was that most of the new parents are around my age group. Also, many of the parent mentors have at least 3 kids. One of them has 7 children! How do they manage?? I'll share more about some of the parents and what I've learnt from them.
Pat - this lady is amazing, and I was greatly encouraged by her story even before I met her in person. Heard her story from my parent mentor when she visited me during the confinement month. Pat had two boys, and the older passed away of cancer when he was eight years old. Before his death, he asked his mom to give birth again so that his younger brother can have a playmate. So, Pat got pregnant and gave birth to a daughter who has DS. She said that though her daughter has DS, at least she is alive and they can help her and be with her. How touching! I cried when I heard this. I admire the courage and strength of this lady. It must have been heart wrenching to see her own child pass away at such a young age. And then to have to go through the fear and uncertainties once again, to face the challenges of taking care of a baby with DS.
Grace - when this mom learnt that her baby boy has DS, her paediatrician told her not to bother sending him to a school in the future, and that he wouldn't be able to talk or do much. She believed him initially, thinking that her son will not be able to do much in the future, but soon realised that he was totally wrong. This prompted her to do her best to help him. She quit from her job and took all opportunities to teach her son. She read a lot on DS, did flashcards with him, and even woke him up from his naps just so that she could do some therapies with him. I can imagine how tired she must have been then, but she persevered through the challenges.
One couple introduced themselves as cousins of another participant. They have 3 children and they attended the session to learn how to take care and help their cousin who has a child with DS. How encouraging! It shows how much they love their cousin and the special one! The child is so blessed to have such a doting uncle and aunty who are willing to take care of him.
There are many more parents whom I would love to network with. Hopefully I can do so during the next DSA event.
During the sharing, I realise our journey with K is not alone. Many of us have similar questions. What lies ahead? Will their physical health get worse over the years? What are the therapies available? Who is the best paediatrician in Singapore? Where do we get help and guidance in this area? All these parents here have/ will walk through similar journeys with our special ones. I take comfort that I am able to get support and advice from the parents of this community when the going gets tough. You may want to get this book to find out more about the experiences of these parents.
Echoing the words of the chairperson of DSA, not many children with DS have managed to survive, but OURS HAVE. So, congratulations to all the parents for bringing our special ones to this world!
A few hours after wheeling K to the nursery, I was informed that the oxygen level in her body was not high enough, hence she has to be sent to the neonatal ICU for further monitoring. The oxygen level is measured through a test called pulse oximetry which uses a little light sensor that is taped around a baby's wrist, palm of a hand, or the bottom of a foot. In K's case, it was taped on her foot. A pulse oxygen level of 90% and above is ideal in neonates. K's was 90% which is at the borderline. The PD was not too comfortable with this and ordered an oxygen hood (the transparent box around her head) to improve the condition.
However, after a day, the oxygen level did not increase. K went for more tests and was found to have polycythemia, a condition where there are too many red blood cells in the blood. The blood was too thick, the PD told me. She had to have a partial exchange transfusion to "dilute" her blood. Sounds scary and serious, and I quickly googled to find out more about this. Whispered a prayer for her too. That night, I couldn't sleep well. My mind was all about K, and how she was fighting for herself, alone. Plus, the patient next to me (was in a twin sharing room as the hospital 'ran out' of single rooms) had to feed her newborn, so nurses came in and out of the room.
The next day when we visited K, she was all hooked up to different machines. It made my heart ache to see her in that state. Every time I visited her, I would whisper a prayer for her, and sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, a song L sang to her when K was still in my womb.
K, please get well quickly...
So, what's life in the ward without a baby for 2 days?
No interrupted sleep, no sore nipples. Kekeke!
Instead, I had plenty of rest (was transferred to a single room the following day) on a more comfy bed, and was on a 3-hourly pumping program. Once a while, I almost forgot that I had just delivered a baby, and was not having a hotel stay!
The few days, after I was discharged, were spent shuttling between home and hospital to deliver my "gold" for K's nourishment. It was tiring for my body during this postpartum period, and I suffered tremendous back aches. I found myself walking like a penguin to ease the pain from everywhere. The rewarding part was that I got to buy the delicious goreng pisang (fried banana fritters) from Longhouse food centre. Yum yum!
K started getting jaundice after the fourth day and had to receive photo-therapy. I was worried, as I had a bad experience about jaundice with Lucas. A close friend lovingly reminded me that K will be well taken care of by the hospital staff. Those kind words gave me strength and I put my trust in God and in the hospital staff.
During this whole week, I was showered with lots and lots of love, gifts and encouraging words from friends at church, workplace etc. You have warmed my heart greatly! Thank you everyone!
However, after a day, the oxygen level did not increase. K went for more tests and was found to have polycythemia, a condition where there are too many red blood cells in the blood. The blood was too thick, the PD told me. She had to have a partial exchange transfusion to "dilute" her blood. Sounds scary and serious, and I quickly googled to find out more about this. Whispered a prayer for her too. That night, I couldn't sleep well. My mind was all about K, and how she was fighting for herself, alone. Plus, the patient next to me (was in a twin sharing room as the hospital 'ran out' of single rooms) had to feed her newborn, so nurses came in and out of the room.
The next day when we visited K, she was all hooked up to different machines. It made my heart ache to see her in that state. Every time I visited her, I would whisper a prayer for her, and sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, a song L sang to her when K was still in my womb.
K, please get well quickly...
So, what's life in the ward without a baby for 2 days?
No interrupted sleep, no sore nipples. Kekeke!
Instead, I had plenty of rest (was transferred to a single room the following day) on a more comfy bed, and was on a 3-hourly pumping program. Once a while, I almost forgot that I had just delivered a baby, and was not having a hotel stay!
The few days, after I was discharged, were spent shuttling between home and hospital to deliver my "gold" for K's nourishment. It was tiring for my body during this postpartum period, and I suffered tremendous back aches. I found myself walking like a penguin to ease the pain from everywhere. The rewarding part was that I got to buy the delicious goreng pisang (fried banana fritters) from Longhouse food centre. Yum yum!
K started getting jaundice after the fourth day and had to receive photo-therapy. I was worried, as I had a bad experience about jaundice with Lucas. A close friend lovingly reminded me that K will be well taken care of by the hospital staff. Those kind words gave me strength and I put my trust in God and in the hospital staff.
During this whole week, I was showered with lots and lots of love, gifts and encouraging words from friends at church, workplace etc. You have warmed my heart greatly! Thank you everyone!
Months passed, and it was finally the last two weeks of the pregnancy. ZY prayed for Kayleen every night, that she will be a healthy baby, and that I would have a smooth delivery. We waited eagerly for our precious baby to arrive into our world.
Just slightly more than two weeks ago (17 Aug 2011), I felt contractions. It was like menstrual cramps, and they occurred every 10 to 15 min. I tolerated with the pains the whole night and when day came, I went to Dr Kee just to make sure that everything was alright.
Dr Kee did a CTG and an ultrasound scan and assured that baby was fine, and it looked like she could still stay in for another week. Her expected arrival date was 27 Aug. So, relieved by his words, I went back to work. However, when night came, the contractions became stronger. Every contraction woke me from my sleep. Some were so painful that I moaned while tossing and turning on bed.
In the morning, Dr Kee told me to go to his clinic again as I had a little bloody discharge, possibly a 'show'. ZY packed his stuff and I took my hospital bag. We explained to L that his little sister could be coming out that day, so mommy and daddy had to go to the hospital. L and my helper went to my mil's house and we proceeded to the clinic. When I reached at 9+ am, Dr Kee checked my cervix and announced that I was 5 cm dilated! He immediately got his nurse to inform the hospital. I had wanted to make a detour to Longhouse and get my prawn noodles that I had craved for a few days, but Dr Kee insisted that I went to the hospital immediately. The third delivery is usually very fast, he said.
We were so excited! We would see Kayleen today! 18 Aug! One week earlier than expected! Ch and L would be able to see their baby sister soon! We made calls to our parents to tell them of the good news too.
I was greeted by a friendly receptionist at the hospital who gave us directions to the delivery suite. Once there, I changed into the hospital gown and the nurse strapped me to the CTG machine to monitor my uterine contractions. ZY and I chatted for a while, then he went to get his lunch while I rested. Nothing much happened after that. My contractions also seemed to die down, with one contraction every 30 min only. I got bored and checked fb as well as whatsapp my close friends. ZY even took a quick nap on the couch.
While waiting, the nurse asked if I needed an epidural. I had ordered for epidural for my first 2 deliveries as I was not prepared to bear with the long labour pains. So this time round, I was quite ready to use it too. But the nurse seemed to tell me that there was no need for it. The third delivery is usually fast, she said. Again, the same comment. So, to be sure, I asked the nurse how painful the labour pains will be when they come. She looked at the CTG chart and said that it should be as painful as what I was experiencing with each contraction, but with a shorter frequency. I imagined the pain. Perhaps it won't be THAT painful since each contraction is still bearable. I whatsapp my friends about this. Kayleen's godfather encouraged me to go all natural and even created a song about it! (sing to the tune of "I have decided to follow Jesus)
I have decided sans epidural,
I have decided sans epidural,
I have decided sans epidural,
No turning back, no turning back.
At around 3 pm, Dr Kee arrived and ordered for a drip to increase the frequency of my contractions. After breaking my water bag, he left for his clinic, saying that he'll be back soon. Also assured that everything would be done by 4:30 pm. I have decided sans epidural,
I have decided sans epidural,
No turning back, no turning back.
Then, the actions started. I felt surges of labour pains from the contractions, getting closer and closer. The drip is so amazing! The contractions got more intense and the nurse suggested using nitrous oxide gas. I had used this during Ch's delivery and it didn't work at all. It almost made me faint. But the nurse assured that she would guide me on how to use it effectively. I obeyed. True enough, it worked! Each contraction was not so painful now, but the urge to push got stronger and stronger. I shouted that I had to push baby out, but the nurse said no, and that Dr Kee had not arrived yet.
Then everything went hazy. I remember crying, perhaps from all the action and the emotions built up inside me. I took a while to recover from the daze, and Dr Kee stepped into the room. Things went fast after that. I was told to push as hard as I could. It was easy as I could feel the contractions without epidural. However, by the second push, I had used up all my energy. I went into the hazy state again. I don't want to push anymore!! I'm too tired!! I remember ZY shouting into my ear and asking me to push once more after I rested. And I remember Dr Kee telling me to push as baby cannot be in that position for too long. With my final little bit of energy that was left, I gave a long push... and I felt it! I felt baby slip out of me! And I did it without epidural!!
The nurse put Kayleen in my arms. Ah..my baby! She wasn't exactly beautiful or cute though, as she looked so red and wrinkly, but still... she's my precious girl whom I carried for 39 weeks. ZY took a few photographs of us, and the nurse suggested breastfeeding. Now? I thought. I'm just too tired to do this! I requested to delay breastfeeding though I knew it was not advisable. I paid a price for this bad decision, as Kayleen rejected latching on for 2 weeks.
After baby was warmed up and measured, and I had my placenta removed, I rested on the delivery bed. I was exhausted and hungry! Then I remembered the prawn noodles that I didn't manage to eat. Argh! I was so hungry that I had gastric pains! Regret, regret!
Looking through the photos that ZY took that day, I realise that he wasn't in any of the photos! Poor daddy! As usual, he would say. So, here's a photo of daddy pushing Kayleen to the nursery (imagine he's in the photo lah!)
