According to the National Dental Centre Singapore, a child should have his first dental check-up when he is between 6 to 12 months of age. This allows the dentist to prevent and anticipate problems rather than treat them. I have been wanting to bring L for his dental check-up since he was 2 years old. Blame it on my procrastination and plain laziness, hence delaying this important visit. Now that he is 5 years old, he whines about going to the dentist. He thinks the dentist is one scary person who will pull out his teeth as he has not been making effort to take good care of them. 

So, what better way to let him overcome his fear of a dental check-up than to let him role-play as one himself! Thanks to the Paediatric Dentistry Unit of the National Dental Centre Singapore, L participated in their first Be-A-Dentist Day event which took place recently. 






At the first station, the children practised bending pipe cleaners into a star-shaped wand. One of the volunteers explained that this activity simulates the principles of bending orthodontic wires for braces. 



The group of children were then brought to a "supermarket" where they learnt to choose the right type of food for good oral health. L was one of the last few to complete his shopping as he mulled over the items displayed so carefully! In the end, he picked a pack of carrots, a bun, a pack of instant noodles, chocolate milk and a bottle of orange juice. Mommy expected it, as these are some of his favorite foods. After learning which food items are good for their teeth and which are not, the children were tasked to select 5 other items for the family. This was what he got! Healthy healthy!! (*ehem* except for the packet of instant noodles)



The third station was one of my personal favorites. The children were given a bad tooth model and some tools to dig out the "decayed material". It was amusing to see the children go "eww" and "yucks" when the dentist demonstrated the steps to do a proper cleaning of the affected area and how to do a tooth filling. Look at L's serious look when he did that! 






I took the opportunity to re-emphasize the importance of keeping L's teeth in healthy conditions - that he needs to brush his teeth properly and rinse his mouth after a meal. He was thoughtful while listening, perhaps recalling the "disgusting decayed material" he saw on the tooth model.



Dress-up time was next! The children donned cute little surgical gowns and shower caps. Aren't they all adorable?







Hubby and I are very particular about hand hygiene as we do not want the older ones to pass their germs to their sister. L cooperates with us very well on this, and sanitizes his hands frequently especially when he is sick. Hence when the dentists explained about bacteria and put on the uv light to prove the existence of bacteria on their hands, L understood it straightaway. He followed the instructions of holding his hands up after sanitizing them with alcohol until a dentist was able to help him put on the disposable gloves. Even when he was monkeying around, he remembered to put his hands together and not touch everywhere!



The last station was the one everyone waited eagerly for! L and his new found friend were paired to room 5 where they had the chance to give a "dental check-up" to their mommies! The two children doubled up as each other's dental assistant too. The paediatric dentist on duty was able to build rapport with the two boys very quickly and taught them how to handle the dentist chair, and how to check Mommy's teeth using the dental mirror. 

Image by Motherof.Xander

Move up! Move down! This is so fun!  Image by Motherof.Xander

Mommy, your teeth is not clean! Image by Motherof.Xander

Dental check complete!  Image by Motherof.Xander

L and new-found friend, X  Image by Motherof.Xander

The whole experience was well organised by the Paediatric Dentistry Unit. The staff was attentive to the children's needs, and was able to build rapport as well as engage them throughout the activities. I asked L to name his favourite station as required in the feedback form, he gave a beaming smile and exclaimed "all the stations!" This goes to show that this event definitely deserves a re-run next year! 

A happy ending to share - L overcame his fear of visiting the dentist. He was able to share his experience about the dentist chair with his dentist and remained calm throughout the scaling and polishing of his teeth. 

Dedicated to my dear baby who has been in the pediatrics ICU for 8 days- a hymn that was led by her god-father during this morning's worship:

As a mother (or a father), what do you think will be your greatest pain?

Is it when you receive news that your child didn't get into the primary school of your choice? Is it when you see your child go astray due to bad values and influence? Or is it when you know your child is capable of achieving more, but he is just wasting his potential?

For me, it is seeing my child suffering in pain, and the possibility of losing her (or any one of them). 



Accompanying K in the hospital since Sunday afternoon, I saw how breathless she was even without doing anything, I saw how scared she was of the unfamiliar surrounding and people, I saw how angry she was when the life-saving oxygen mask was placed over her face. I saw how she slipped into a deep sleep because of the tiredness from all the struggling, only to be woken up by the body's reflex action to gasp for a mouth of air.

And now I see her lying on the bed in the pediatrics ICU ward, intubated so that the ventilator machine can help with her breathing, with so many other tubes into her body so that blood can be periodically drawn from her tiny blood vessels for tests and drugs (like ketamine, morphine, dopamine) injected to help her cope with her critical condition. I see the medical staff rushing into her room whenever her monitor beeps, indicating something in her is off balance and needs immediate attention. She is heavily sedated and paralysed so that her blood pressure and oxygen level will be stabilized. 

K is fighting against a pneumonia infection which is complicated due to her pre-existing medical conditions like pulmonary hypertension and a small atrial septal defect (ASD) of her heart. There could be others, which we have not surfaced at this point.

K's condition worsened from Sunday night. She was so critically ill that hubby had to grant permission for many procedures to be conducted on her. The medical staff also prepared us mentally that K may need to be put on the ECMO (heart-lung machine) to take over the functions of her heart and lungs if she did not respond positively to all the treatment given then. I was advised to stay in the hospital for the next few days. 

"I think you should stay around" was what the doctor advised. 

My heart cringed with pain and I cried. It felt like riding on an emotional roller coaster, and I had just rolled down to the lowest point of the roller coaster track. Coming up the roller coaster is difficult, and crying is one good way of helping me get back on the right path. Now, whenever I think about how fragile K's life is at this moment, I tear. I tear not because I am afraid of her dying, as I know she will then be able to end her physical suffering and have eternal rest and comfort. But seeing the tubes in her pains my heart. Also, there are many things which I have not done with her, places which we have not gone together, and the whole family has not seen enough of her cute face. It is these selfish thoughts that make me not want to let go of her. 


Hubby and I prayed. We pray a lot for her recovery, and depend on God for strength and mercy. I know he is as sad as I am, but he chooses to remain strong so that I can cry. Many friends feel how I feel too, and are praying for K too. Her older siblings miss her so much, and I am glad they have found their individual ways to cope well, while daddy and mommy shuttle between home and hospital for these few days.

Ch bought these two ribbons from her school bookshop- one for her to give K, and the other for L to give K.

Today is Friday, Day 6 at the pediatrics ICU. I am stronger now. Many friends, colleagues and relatives have helped too. Every SMS and FB message, as well as all the hospital visits, bring comfort and strength to us. Thank you everyone for bringing gifts like herbal drink, snacks, fruits, chicken essence to remind hubby and I that we need to take care of ourselves in order to care of K and our two older ones. Thank you for offering to bring Ch and L out too. We appreciate all the kindness and love showered on us. 

A friend sent me this article which she found online. I'm sharing it with everyone as I see the great value in having a contract like this with your child.

Many of my students, aged between 12 to 17, fall deeply into this trap. Even my own friends' children are not spared from this addiction! And they are not even teenagers yet!

An online article states this about mobile phone addictions:

Cell phone use, like drugs and alcohol, may act on the reward centers of the brain which contain opiate receptors. When the brain gets its perceived reward—whether it's heroin, chocolate, or the fun of texting two thousand times a month on average—it wants a do-over, again and again and again. Suddenly, a behavior is born.

To be frank, I am guilty of having my phone 24/7 around me. I know how difficult it can be for me to disconnect with my phone. Now put yourself in the shoes of your children. It is going to be even more difficult to stop them from being addicted to their cell phones since they grow up in the digital age where they see everyone being digitally connected. 

Parents, are you willing to have a contract like this to help your beloved child?


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To My 13-Year-Old, An iPhone Contract From Your Mom, With Love

Dear Gregory,

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good and responsible 13-year-old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

I love you madly and look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad." Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30 p.m. every school night and every weekend night at 9:00 p.m. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30 a.m. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person -- preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO (fear of missing out).

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You and I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone.

xoxoxo,
Mom

Since K's birth, going to KK Women's and Children's Hospital (KKH) has been a frequent affair for me. Sometimes, if she has two appointments in a day, I get to spend time with her while waiting. Shopping at my favourite places like Mothercare and having lunch - just the two of us - make the waiting time seemingly short. 

I also get to meet different people at KKH. As K is very friendly, her contagious smile usually earns smiles from people around her. Passer-bys will stop and play with her, or tell me how cute she is. Most of these people I will probably never meet again in my life, but there are the occasional few whom I feel more connected with. And this afternoon, I got to know a couple whom I'm still thinking about now. They have a 9 week old baby girl - Rachel - who has Down Syndrome too. R's daddy asked if K has DS, and we started talking. I could sense that they are worried about R's development and asked about K's progress and the intervention program she has. At one point - after I asked the couple if they are coping well with newborn R - the wife started crying. They shared that R is going for a surgery this Friday to correct a heart defect. I can imagine how much pain and anxiety the parents are feeling these few days before the surgery. It reminded me of how I felt when K had to insert the NG tube. No parent would want to see his own child being put through such an experience. It is too painful...

I am thankful that I have grown stronger emotionally since the day K was born. I will still feel sad and worried for K especially in terms of her physical health. But I am less fearful of the uncertain. I have experienced God's special care for K since she was born, and I'm sure He will always be with us. 



I am thankful that K is growing well, meeting her developmental milestones slowly, but surely. She is a testimony of God's blessings and I hope that through her, many parents will be encouraged. 



I am thankful for the love that friends have showered on my hubbs and I when we learnt about K's condition. And for new-found friends from Down Syndrome Association who share this special journey with us, sharing good advice and emotional support. I always feel a special connection whenever I meet parents who have children with DS. A simple nod or smile, and we just "click" emotionally. Hopefully, through the short exchanges with the various people we have met, I have given them the support they need. 

Here's a video showing a day in K's life. This was a project done by my god-sister-in-law and her polytechnic friends (and they got an A+ for this project!!). I like how the team portrays the love our family has for K. Unfortunately, daddy was working during the filming so you don't see him in the video. 


(Note: in the transcript, the sentence "... she has no muscle tone..." should be "... she has low muscle tone...")

Here is the background behind the birthday party theme for K:

This is one of the Christian songs we sing to our children in the cradle roll class. 

Since birth, K has always been on the small side. Her birth weight was 2.495 kg and after almost a year, she only managed to reach 5 kg. The doctors and dieticians were very concerned about her growth, and I would say that they were definitely even more concerned than I was. Let me clarify, it was not that I was ignorant or tried to dismiss any medical condition she might have. It was just that Ch was also very small to begin with, and she is definitely still very small as compared to her Primary 1 friends. So, the two sisters might have the small-sized gene.

After struggling with K's fussy eating habits for a few months, coupled with frequent visits to the feeding clinic, the doctors finally decided that it was time for her to be put on the Nasogastric Tube (or NG tube). On 1 Aug this year, she was admitted to the hospital to have the tube inserted and I stayed with her for the next three days. I was sad that I had to put her through this process, and uncertain if she would have the side effects which I read from various online sources. I blamed myself a lot. Perhaps she wouldn't have to go through this if I had tried harder to overcome her fussy eating habits. Or perhaps, if I had been more persistent in training her to use the milk bottle, she would have fattened up a lot more.


The doctor who inserted the NG tube did not allow me to stay in the room to observe. Standing outside, I felt so helpless when K screamed loudly all of a sudden. I cried and blamed myself more. The medical staff managed to calm her down before opening the door for us to reunite, but K still looked traumatised by the tube insertion process.

The stay at the hospital was tiring. I was kept awake by the other 5 patients sharing the room, and by the medical staff who came in every 3 hours to tube feed her. Each tube feeding session lasted about 20 mins- with one nurse holding the NG tube to pour the formula milk in, and another to carry her if she was fussy. I also had to learn the steps to tube feed her myself. Before each feed, a check had to be done to see if the tube was placed in the correct position. I had to aspirate and test the liquid with blue litmus paper. The tube also had to be held at a certain position above her head so that the milk would flow into her stomach at a suitable rate to prevent her from vomiting. 


Thank God for K's sweet nature. She wasn't really fussy during each tube feed, and was so cooperative with the student nurses that I was able to have my meals at the food court in the hospital. The nurses loved her and kept telling me how friendly and smiley she was. 


I became very reliant on the NG tube after a while, as it got easier each time I used it. Plus after I changed her tube to one with a wider diameter, the feeding duration was cut down to just 5 mins. However, a nagging thought was always at the back of my mind- that we must get her off the tube as soon as we can. It pained me to see her scream with fear each time a new NG tube was inserted. But doctors will only approve if she has a constant weight gain to the desired range, and that she needs to use the cup or milk bottle for the milk feeds.

At 16 months old, I'm happy to say that she is off the NG tube, and has successfully gained 1.5 kg since August.